A Journal Entry: On our 3rd Anniversary
"Every year its crazy to believe that time just marches on, the day we got married, it was so intense, so earth shaking, it was as though time stopped and every so often when I'm alone with you or its late at night and we're talking, I feel that time stops again. When the moon hits your face just right during a night walk, as the cigarette smoke billows and dances on the nights air from your hands. Everything is still. Sometimes we can look at each other and not speak but know what the other is feeling, thinking-without words. We are just so blessed to have one another. So few people meet their great love so young, God, we are so lucky. I love our life together, I love that we are lucky enough to be able to be married. The most significant vow we spoke of that day was that we now abide in one another. That is just, whoa! To abide in something is to stay, remain, dwell, and/or to act in accordance with a decision. We have become one heart, one home, a solace for one another away from the chaos of this world." 

Seconds after the proposal, "I said yeeeeees!"

On Christmas morning of 2006 we were on a week long Christmas trip to Disney World. While I like to have people think he proposed in front of a crowd, that is not how it happened. Jeremy knows I hate PDA and i hate crowds, this would have to be quiet and calm. I awoke Christmas morning to find our family in the kitchen already, Jeremy's mom was frying beignits (Jeremy's and his family is from New Orleans)  in the living room and coffee being brewed. There were a few whispers we exchanged Merry Christmas' but all I could think about was coffee, make a cup and back to my bed to sit and sip. Everyone knows I'm a terrible morning person. Then Jeremy walked in with a huge grin and at the door stood his parents and sisters Kristie and Rachel. I looked over and he closed the door and said hold on, I heard his mom say, "get on your knee"
I still had no clue what was going on, I'd had maybe 2 sips of coffee. It's so true when brides say, "I had no idea what was going on" it literally catches you so off-guard! Jeremy reaches behind the nightstand and pulls out a little red box, and opens it while saying, "I love you more than anything in the world, and I want to marry you, can we spend the rest of our lives together" Now, I thought A- marriage probably wasn't for me, I hadnt really thought  too much about it, and B-def didn't think anyone would wanna marry me. But, I did know I loved him more than anything and that when I think about  my life in 50 years its always been with him, always my partner. So a normal person would have said yes, I grabbed the box and said, "what the F*#%!-Is this a joke" I don't do well with surprises. and Jeremy had led me to believe my Christmas gift was earrings. I was in shock, my heart skipped a beat, the door flung open, his mom awaiting an answer. I then walked back and said "Yes a thousand times yes" mingled with intermittent kisses. We then ate our beignits and were off to the magic kingdom with a smile that stretched from ear to ear. my ring was too big but i wore it on a necklace so I could periodically loop it on my finger and gaze at my newly engaged reflection. It was magical.

On the day we decided to elope, we both called into work, it was a Tuesday, the night before we decided it was time to get married, we had been living together for years now and had finally gotten our wedding bands. So just like that we decided to go get hitched. I never wanted a wedding, I toyed with the idea of a reception, and perhaps on our 5th anniversary we will through one, this was something I wanted to share alone with Jeremy, our vows were for us, I wouldn't change a thing about it. I put on my favorite LBD with a cozy sweater and flats because it was chilly, and Jeremy put on comfy slacks and a blue button down, it was perfect. We headed to the courthouse in Arlington, did our paper work and headed across the street for a quick ceremony with the justice of the peace. We stopped in a little park outside of the courthouse and had hot dogs from the vender, the sun was out and the weather was a perfect 68 degrees. We sat on the benches smiling at one another before heading in. as we entered this dark office surrounded by volumes upon volumes of books we could smell old book bindings, it was perfect. We introduced ourselves to the Justice and were ushered into a private room where we exchanged our vows and were officially married. That night and every night after that, Jeremy has made me the happiest girl in the world. Its not always perfect, but its always full of love.
Our Beautiful announcements from that day

I also would like to take a walk down memory lane and share some pictures from a while back, before we were married or even engaged, some before we even lived together, when I was a science geek in undergrad (who only seemed to wear sweats shirts) living on campus only seeing my cute boyfriend on the weekends. You can actually see my transformation from tom boy to woman in these, YIKES! and Jeremy looks so young!

 My first time meeting his family.
 A weekend of him beating me at card games after a ridiculously stressful week of exams.
 A few drinks later I tried to teach him the hustle...anybody remember flares?!? LOL Kristie took most of these pictures, she was a big fan of our relationship :)
A few more drinks later and we (including his sister Kristie) decide to pig out on take-out. Notice Jeremy's and my friendship bracelets :)
 Our first out of town trip together, to NY to visit Daniel and Carly
Our first Halloween! As Zeus and Athena
The night we decided I'd move in
Our favorite place to have lunch back in Virginia Beach, Johnny Rockets!
Our trip to Coco Beach Florida
Our days on the metro (can't remember if this is DC or NY)
 The rest of the family at Disney World, waiting for the Bill Nye exhibit to open (I think I may have been the only one excited for this ride lol) with Kristie and Rachel.
And the teacups on Christmas Eve, Jeremy was thinking how to pop the question that whole day!
Shortly after announcing we eloped to our family

Marriage Secrets:

1. Become you're partners ideal loverYou have a lifetime to become really really really good at sex! And believe me when times are tough and money is short all there is to do is jump each others bones! Sex should be a form of intimacy but also a form of communication. What better way to get over a bickering match than to jump in bed and have a quickie. Can't afford to go out, then stay in! Love is free! There is no better satisfaction than making your partner feel amazing at the same time as you.

2. Share dislikes
Did you know you bond deeper over common dislikes than likes!?! Jeremy and I call it "hate mating" we will sit in bed at night and list the shit we can't stand about people, politics, situations, food and even music. It's always refreshing to know your spouse has your back.

3. Mean what you say/say what you mean!
Nothing gets under our skin more than responding to "what's wrong?" with a short and dishonest "NOTHING!" If you're upset tell your spouse, they're your partner and chances are it will make you feel better to come clean with what's up. Hold nothing back with your spouse, keeping emotions bottled in will just fester like a rotten sore, and that just breeds resentment which has a way of boiling over into other parts of your relationship.

4. Journal 
I cannot even begin tell you how much this helps. Jeremy and I went through a particular rough time a few years ago, and there was times where nothing helped but opening my journal and reading what I wrote about him before. Long entries of how I couldn't wait to marry him, how much our engagement meant to me and how special our love was. Nobody can put your relationship into perspective like you can!

5. Feel sexy to you
 If you are not comfortable with yourself, whether it be your body, hair, nails, pjs, whatever.. you will not come off as sexy to your mate! As the best friend of a guy and the wife of a serial dumper, I know for a fact that nothing will turn off a man quicker than insecurity! Write affirmations or better yet have your hubby write affirmations! When we were dating Jeremy and I did affirmations regularly, we'd sit in bed and say "I love you because..." we'd each do 3. If this is what it takes to make you feel sexy than DO IT! I feel sexiest when I step out of the shower and have moisturized skin so I do this before bed every night.

6. Make time for one another
This is a big one, life is stressful and busy, things pile up, and as time passes and your marriage ages it's easy to put one another on the back burner. We don't do this on purpose but when you see your mate at home every night you can take for granted that they're there. Remember that each of you should be each others priority, make time to go out alone or stay in alone. If only for 2 hours turn off the phones and computers and stress, order in or carry out and just be with one another. I know this gets harder as kids enter the picture but make it a priority. Your mate deserves the attention, after all down the road they'll be the one still here when the kids leave and the jobs end and retirement begins.

7. Keep secrets, some things are sacred! 
Don't tell everyone everything about your relationship! Something's are only for you and your spouse, your marriage is important and so is your privacy. It makes me feel good that I know things about Jeremy that nobody else knows. Not even his closest friends, because I'm his wife, and I'm entitled to pieces of him that others are not, and vice versa.

 8.Write each other love notes
This doesn't have to be a handwritten note, this can be anything that shows your love other than saying it. Remember how your stomach would flutter when in the beginning of the relationship your spouse said "I love you" well I think we become desensitized to those words over time. So say it in other ways, I recently wrote Jeremy a short love letter on Monday to cheer him up (he had the return to work post vacay blues). Or try to get up earlier than your spouse and make them lunch (food is the ultimate love note). Make them a mix and stick it in the car after they go to sleep so they find it in the morning. These things are love, in action.

9. Listen, don't just hear
Be engaged with what's going on with them. Jeremy and I Facetime everyday while he's at work, even if only for 10 minutes, even if all we do is talk about the dog or what we ate.

10. Share one meal everyday
As humans we strengthen our bonds over food, we are more likely to talk more openly over a meal, whether you have to get up a bit earlier to chat over coffee and toast in the kitchen or if you sit in front of the TV with pizza! Share one meal no matter what.

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.

Today while reading through the blogs I follow daily I came across an amazing post from an amazing woman.
Sarah Yates is the creator of A House in the Hills I've mentioned her before in this post, (btw-thank you to all the sweet ladies that emailed me responses to that post). Sarah is one of those women that just inspires me to be the best woman I can be, honest, and brave, and strong. She recently purchased her first home and shared this moving post explaining why shes so thankful, and what the significance of this home means for her. Its a touching story and one I hope everyone will take a moment to read. Sometimes its easy to be jaded and loose sight of what really matters, lets all try to count our blessings more often, and be gracious for what we do have. Sarah's story is one not far from my own, perhaps one day I'll be brave enough to share my journey. But for now, heres to you Sarah! Congrats on your new home I wish you many happy years and memories to come.

 I was right about the gender of Kristie's baby... ITS A BOY!!!! we cannot wait to meet baby Noah, he will be a happy addition to our family. Here are some pictures from the night of the big announcement...

 me and my abuela 1986 

 I'm currently visiting my grandparents, and although I miss Jeremy, something about being here makes me feel like I'm home, all these things, these knick-knacks from my childhood sit around me, like they're locked in time, and have the ability to bring about the most intense and amazingly powerful nostalgia. Gosh, do I love that feeling. My grandparents have this huge linen closet right outside my bedroom and the scent that emminates from it literally smells like home. Crisp cool linens take me to nights long ago where I'd lay in my grandmas bed with her and just listen to any and every story she could tell me, I cherish that memory like it is a rare jewel, I guess to me it is.

True Confessions:

 True Confessions Magazine ca 1932, Henry Clive
  Over the weekend I came across an interesting article on confiding in girlfriends. I think we all have those moments where we either think, "oh god, did I really tell her that?" or "ugh, I feel so much better after talking about it" or the dreaded, "god, I love her but I wish she'd just get over him already!" 
We've all been there but Elle writer, Monica Corcoran Harel sheds some interesting light on the nature of women confiding in women. I found the article really informative and thought I'd share. If you happen to be a science geek (like me) I will also link the original study cited in the article by Brown, Its easy to digest so worth checking out.

True Confessions

Stong woman Katniss Everdeen of The Hunger Games 2012 Lions Gate Entertainment

This post is a bit of a hybrid, half of it stems from something I recently witnessed that pains me and half from my straight up disgust for the girl on girl hate that keeps popping up in the media!
Recently I witnessed a level of cattiness that could only rival that of Regina George, Although I did not partake in it I was still affected to the point of disgust and couldn't speak to anyone afterwards not even my closest friend for days because of it, it was like poison. I kept asking myself, "where would such words come from?' After mulling over the  personal attacks on almost every woman she knows I came to a conclusion: insecurity.
Insecurity breeds the worse kind of girl hate there is, "girl on girl" hate. Anytime one girl can rip apart another girl whether its "juicy gossip" or "drama" that girl is seriously insecure with herself, whether it be hatred of ones size or weight, hatred of ones personal beliefs, hatred of ones relationship status/woes, I can guarantee 99% of the time its because those aspects of their life are not healthy and the person is insecure with that fact.
I was brought to a place that was so low after hearing such salacious mouth trash that I had to vow to myself to never participate in this no matter how minor it seems. I don't want to make any other woman, ever feel like I felt. It really made me think, how many times have I said horrible things based on my own insecurities, I'm sure a number of times! That sickens me, I'm pleading with you girls PLEASE be aware of what leaves your lips everyday, regardless of who or what context it is in, words are damaging! We deal enough with men breaking us down every fucking day, lets not be self defeating and help them out! Be proud of the fact that you are a woman a miracle in its own right, a temple as sacred as any other intuitive creature, love yourself and love each other.
These are a few articles and posts I found demonstrating how harmful girl hate is:
The Daily Beast posted this article and video on how damaging the hating can be to celebrities too.
Sarah Yates Post: Please read the comments after this post Kate over at theforgetfulwife left a great comment of her experience with girl hate while traveling.
My bff Sarah shared this post from fellow blogger Tanie on body shaming that I found very moving, and appropriate.

CHEERS to all of you girls for speaking up on girl hating!

A few months back when I was still toying with the idea of blogging I asked myself, what is it that makes the blog world so alluring, why do I follow these women who choose to share portions of there life? The answer was, "I don't know why" I just know that in the world of blogging we see super versions of ourselves that are nicer to look at, we see what we want to be, we see what we think is successful and beautiful we're bits and pieces of the people we love, all put together into one shiny "you" that can be posted daily! We are escapes, we are women who have perfect skin and bodies and don't need makeup, who don't have meltdowns, we are moms that seem to never break a sweat.
On "Easy Peazy" I get to be this girl who has this perfect relationship with the women in her family, a girl who obviously is madly in love with her very attractive husband and never has arguments, a girl who is okay with just being what she is, who crafts pretty jewelry all day and has long talks with her friends...

The truth is I'm maybe a fraction of that better version of myself. I complain A LOT! sometimes I'm incredibly seclusive and shut myself off from most of my friends and loved ones. I can be very insensitive, judgmental, and cynical. I am incredibly insecure about my skin and have been in a constant battle with it since my late teens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want to be honest here, I want to be able to look back and see the real me reflected in this blog and encourage other women to love themselves, feel empowered by what you are and what you create, whether it be a pretty piece of art or a life (as you enter motherhood). I'm not going to sit here and say, "we're all beautiful" because its been said, but I will say love yourself for what and who you are because you are the only you there is!
That said, I want to share a picture of the real me, the me that only I get to see in the mirror each morning, I want everyone who stumbles onto "Easy Peazy" to know that you aren't alone in your insecurities, we all have our own crap and we all are just trying to make the best of it. One day I will share with you what led up to this moment but for now this will have to do...

I have come across a few pictures online of celebs who say they're baring it all but still seem to have on make-up...whats up with that?!? I have seen one incredibly inspiring photo where a celeb is really baring it all, here, If you know of others feel free to share.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for sharing!